Right now, we're well into September and it's been four months, two weeks, and five days since the day I swooped out of the University Theater in my cream-colored dress, a fresh graduate. The real world was inching its way towards me, ready to pounce, but I didn't think of anything much back then except that I was going on a long period of hibernation.

Sure I was plagued by worries about The Future on a bi-weekly basis, but I wasn't seriously wracked by deep fears. I was done with 16 years of education -- a couple of years shorter than my projected total -- and hell, I was dead set on getting a much-needed vacation.

That thought sustained me for weeks. Nothing would steer me from that course. Not news of high school classmates going to work, not news of a friend working for an interior design firm (she quit after a month, hooray for dedication), or one who's undergoing training for one of those infernal call centers, and certainly not news of college classmates applying to become teachers or junior faculty members. No sir. I planned to have a long holiday and I fully intended to make the most of it.

Of course, I did make a few half-hearted attempts to find work. On a lark, I submitted my resumé several times online and posted my resumé on some of those career Web sites. I did it just to have something to say whenever people ask me, "So what are you planning to do now?" "Do you have work yet?" "What do you want to do?" At least I can smile proudly and say, "I've got a few leads on a __________ position."

The pressure to join the rat race is overwhelming. As a matter of fact, I even went to a certain foundation to personally submit my resumé. That same day, I was interviewed for the position for which I applied. I was dressed in a pink shirt and jeans and looked generally lousy compared to the other applicants who were all in proper corporate attire. Nevertheless, the interviewer liked me so much that he told me right away that I'm going in for the second interview, after which training will begin.

A couple of weeks later, someone from the foundation called to tell me when the second interview will take place. By that time, I was seriously thinking about the job and wondering whether I truly believed in the foundation's principles and objectives. To that, I answered in the negative and that steeled me enough to reject them. I didn't go, and I didn't even have the decency to call and tell them I wasn't going to show up.

Also, my sister was coming home for a holiday and we had lots of fun trips lined up. I couldn't let anything stop me from traveling.

Yes, my priorities are extraordinary.

But now I'm on holiday in the U.S. and seeing my sisters living comfortable lives and having good jobs, however soul-sucking they may be, throws me into a nervous fit. None of them is forcing me to find work. In fact, they're all telling me I'm still young and, therefore, should enjoy my extended break. However, seeing them go to work makes me realize how idle I've been these past few months. So now I've been questioning how useful I could be, what company or organization would ever contemplate hiring me, and thinking what a lazy employee I could potentially be. What's more, my resumé is a punch in the gut. You wouldn't believe how empty it is. I was never one to attend workshops, seminars, and symposia. I've never worked a day in my life. I was never deeply involved in clubs and community activities. I only joined an organization when I was in my senior year of college.

In addition, I couldn't imagine what companies could possibly want with a History major (I knew I should've attended one of those career orientations for History majors). After all, when people hear "History major" they either think "Eh? What do you guys do?" or "Ooh, you can be a professor!"

Still, such worries haven't stopped me from frantically faxing my resumé to countless organizations. As a matter of fact, I've already lost track of the number of organizations I've contacted so far, but I'm guessing it's well over 80 by now. You want to know how many contacted me in response to my application?

A grand total of four, all of them telling me the same thing: We have received your application but deeply regret to inform you that... It goes on. There's even one company who told me that they received an application with qualifications that closely resemble mine and they picked that person. I had to restrain myself from crying out, "Why couldn't you have picked me instead?! Me?!?" It's enough to give one a nervous breakdown.

There was even a company who rejected me right off when they read that I didn't have employment experience. That's the eternal dilemma new graduates face. How are you supposed to gain any experience if people continuously turn you down?

Of course, I really shouldn't be losing hope so soon. Four rejections out of 80+ applications can't be that bad. In the meantime, while I'm waiting for 75+ other organizations to reply to my resumé, I'll just polish my writing skills, volunteer for this or that cause, learn something new and take long-overdue classes and workshops. At the same time, I'm going to enjoy sleeping in till 1 in the afternoon because once I start working, I can't possibly do that anymore.

Wish me luck.

Author's note: The author realizes she should've written this months ago, when articles about graduation jitters and The Future were in abundance. Just think of it as a way to set this article apart from all the others.